Infinite Willpower: A Guide
I’m not sure if there’s anything as innately human as wanting — specifically, wanting things that can only be achieved in the long-term. It fills our thoughts and daydreams and keeps us moving when things seem bleak.
There’s a thought experiment in Ray Dalio’s Principles where he encourages you to think about achieving your goal. Think about having everything you ever wanted. Feel those emotions. Think about your day. While it may feel good for a few moments, it’s likely it’s not as great as you think it’d be.
As the Stoics preached millennia ago and as Brandon Sanderson espouses today, it’s the journey that matters — not the destination.
The key, then, is to have the willpower to get through the hard times. In closing the gap between where you are and where you want to be, you need to keep fighting to close that gap. So, the question becomes how can you build that willpower. How can you wake up every day and have the motivation to get after it? I turned to the science to answer this question, and it was frankly far simpler than I thought it’d be.
Willpower is Limitless (Actually)
Willpower is incredibly useful in two instances: when we plan to do something (I will) and when we don’t want to do something (I won’t).
Jane McGonigal makes this distinction in her Willpower Instinct — a book on how to take advantage of willpower to live better in line with your intentions.
As Nir Eyal points out in Indistractable, willpower is not finite. It’s not something we have to recharge. For a long time in psychology, there was an idea that willpower was a finite resource — the idea that willpower facilitated the relationship between one’s supply of energy and the world’s demand of that energy. This was backed by the study that showed that drinking lemonade led to an increase in persistence.
However, another psychologist, Carol Dweck, went deeper. She found that drinking lemonade increased willpower, but only for the people who believed willlpower was finite. For those that believed that willpower was an endless resource, it was.
When it comes to willpower, what we believe becomes our reality.
Short-term Comfort, Long-Term Goals — Two forces often at odds
In the short-term, we often crave those things which don’t help us. You can notice your cravings as often following a simple rule: consume and store as much energy as possible while expending as little as possible. This is comfort.
This may be the comfort of consuming excess sugar, avoiding socializing, playing video games as opposed to exercising. All of these are fine in moderation, but a problem arises when they happen too much. We often ascribe failures in these domains to be the result of a lack of willpower. We fail to match our short-term actions with our long-term goals.
In dealing with these cravings, Indistractable has taught me an invaluable question to ask when I confront them: what were you feeling directly preceding the arising of the craving? Typically, it’s discomfort.
Your energy-saving brain is smart. Imagine that during an enthralling volleyball game, someone tells you to stop and sit down. You’re not gonna say yes. But if someone told you to stop during a grueling sprint? Much better chance you give up.
Robert Wright discusses this idea in this Why Buddhism is True. The modules in your brain that want you to conserve energy will strategically activate when things get tough because it’s in these moments that you look for an out.
When your work gets hard, that’s when you want to stop.
This is the “stop” condition. Alternatively, there’s the “start” condition. For example, when your long-term goal is to write a book and you need to sit down and write a chapter. In these instances, your brain will start coming up with a thousand brilliant ideas for things you can do. This is where procrastination begins.
The “I won’t” rule
The “I won’t” rule pertains to short-term cravings for doing something that act against your long-term goals. For example, if you’re long-term goal is to be healthier, this short-term craving may look like wanting to eat a slice of cake when you’ve already had one.
Generally, we can understand this craving in one of two ways:
- You’re actually hungry and need more food.
- You’re bored or uncomfortable and looking for something to distract yourself.
The 10-minute rule ensures that you eat when the case is 1. and that you don’t when the case is 2. It’s simple. When you notice a craving, tell yourself the following:
“I’m going to wait 10 minutes. If at the end of it, I still have this craving, I’ll fulfill it.”
After 10 minutes, if you still want that cake, you eat the cake (or maybe something more filling since you’re hungry). However, in many cases, you simply won’t crave it any more.
As I’ve tried this rule, my cravings often evaporate. I think I want something, notice that there was discomfort causing that craving, wait 10 minutes, and forget that I even wanted it.
The “I will” rule
On the other side of the coin is the “I will” rule. This involves short-term cravings to not doing something when doing it is in the interest of your long-term goals. Think writing a chapter for a book you’re trying to write.
In the moment, you won’t want to write. And like always, this is sometimes fine. If your family is around and you haven’t seen them in forever, it’s probably best to spend this time with them. Leave the book-writing to another hour. However, if it’s like most cases and you’re simply pushing it off to do something that involves less energy, you should write.
How does the 10 minute rule work here? Instead of waiting for 10 minutes, start for 10 minutes. If your long-term goal is writing a book and you have a feeling in this moment that you should do some writing but would rather play video games, you make a promise to myself. “I’m going to write for 10 minutes. If I still really want to stop after 10 minutes, I will.”
In the majority of cases, you’ll probably keep doing the hard thing. Getting past the initial friction gets you into a flow you’d rather not disrupt. Will there be times you still want to stop? Yes, but that’s ok. It’s about overall consistency. 80% of days with hard work gets you a lot farther than constantly feeling like you should be doing something and then waiting for the last minute to do it or never even starting.
Combining the two rules
Using the “I will” rule, you get over the friction and get moving. You’ll likely find a good flow in your work. However, this does’t mean you won’t want to stop. As soon as you hit a barrier, you mind will throw you a suggestion to do something easier. Then, the “I won’t” rule carries you through. In 10 minutes, you’ll probably not have that desire to do the other thing any more.
The key here is to use inertia to your advantage. Any craving is to be respected. It may be helpful and we should listen. However, we must also recognize that these cravings will come and go. Give yourself time to let the unhelpful ones drift away and pay attention to the ones that stay.
This is the path towards long-term progress. Just 10 minutes. The journey to success and progress in any domain is hard. The mental experience will be difficult, but that’s ok. Let it be difficult and lean into it. In just 10 minutes, that difficulty won’t seem so big anymore. You’ll keep going and be well on your way towards riding the wave towards your goal.